28.2.03

Kiss Me, I'm Irish!

You are Irish
You are a Dubliner.


What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

Random Thoughts

man... you know, you realize something when you're still at work after most everybody has left and you have a FREE ticket to a party for that day.

a li'l background:

anyway, the story is, i was with my brother last sunday in orchard
we were walking towards heeren for dinner after visiting a relative at mt. elizabeth's hospital.

you know how they always have this open area for promotions and events and stuff next to heeren?
these people were doing it there, and i got accosted by the emcee :P
long story short, i got "coerced" into participating in a game (blow a baloon and see whose pop first), lost, but got a free ticket anyway :P

24.2.03

The Verdict (Continued)

No late nights.

No watching movies until 6.00 a.m.

The only good thing is that you have a steady source of income.

No sitting in cafes sipping on a nice cuppa and enjoying the view.

No...

The Verdict

Ladies and gentlemen, the verdict is in: Working life officially SUCKS.

You don't have time to catch up with your friends, you don't have time to go out and enjoy yourself, you don't have time for you... In short, you don't have time to do shit!

I'm gonna stop now before I ramble on for another 30 pages.

Really.

I'm stopping now.

Right.

NOW.

That's it.

Stop it.

I said: STOP IT!

OK.

Starting from...

NOW!

Courage in the Face of Death

"Naught broken save this body, lost but breath;
Nothing to shake the laughing heart's long peace there
But only agony, and that has ending;
And the worst friend and enemy is but Death."

-- Unknown (taken from "Melt Down" a.k.a. "The Pegasus Forum", David Schofield)

Nice, huh? Found that in a book, and it's something that's got me thinking for a long time. It took me a while to realize the true meaning behind it, that it's about the courage to face death, and to accept it, with serenity, as a fact of life. As a man lives, so shall he one day die. Ashes to ashes, and all that.

Death is one of the things that people fear the most. The only other thing that people fear more is public speaking. (Ever heard someone say "I'd rather die than speak in front of all those people?"). When my grandparents died, they died with a smile on their lips. This is how I would want to die.

I've been following the news lately about Jessica Santillan, the 17-year-old Mexican-American who died recently because of a botched heart & lung transplant. It's really sad that such a bright young girl, who is so full of life has to die, with tubes sticking out of her frail body and (supposedly) one of the best team of doctors in the United States standing watch. Life's never fair, is it? But from what I can gather, she faced the possibility of dying calmly enough. She was scared, but she accepted it. If that's not courage, I don't know what is. After all, courage is not ignoring your fears, it is confronting it and facing it down. Accepting it, and embracing it. Now, that is true courage.

In Memoriam
Jessica Santillan
23 February 2003
www.4jhc.org

28.1.03

From the inside looking out (Part Deux)

*phew*

It's certainly been a while since I've updated this blog. Been absolutely bloody busy and knackered. Right now I'm still in the office (it's 2.14 a.m. when I wrote this), where I've been practically living in for the past few days. Heck, for the past bloody week, in fact. Some clients has pushed forward the deadline of a gigantic project and as a result me and the other programmers are stuck in the office working to get the damned thing up in time.

And the weather isn't helping, either. With the aircon being turned off after 6.00 p.m. and temperatures in the high thirties the past few days, you can sort of guess that I'm not exactly a very happy man right now.

Arrgh! I'll be SO glad when this whole thing is over.

I just hope that it doesn't drag into my vacation time that's coming up real soon. It'll be a REAL pain in the posterior then.

Now, I'm not saying that it isn't already, but, hey, if that really happened that would REALLY suck, now, wouldn't it?

In fact, the past few bloody weeks hasn't been really good for me. I wake up most mornings feeling absolutely knackered and wanting nothing more than just to crawl back into my nice, warm, cozy bed. In fact, thinking about it right now makes me feel really depressed. *sigh*

Oh well.... like someone said: "When life hands you a lemon make lemonade; and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place"

(That was Bill McNeal from Newsradio who said that, by the way. Another useless trivia for you to store away until you get the chance to bring it up and impress your friends/a cute girl/guy/your girl/boyfriend's parents... which most probably will never happen anyway, but what the heck, eh?)

Ah well... back to slaving for big corporation again, like the good corporate serf that I am...

See you soon...

I hope...

If I'm still alive by then...

18.12.02

And still on the subject of rain...

Dancing Naked in the Rain
by Ralph Esposito

I danced in the rain the other night,
naked. Soft droplets cuddled my skin.
Perhaps I looked foolish, a childish sight,
reminiscent of a sixties love-in.

Aberration, disorder, or mental disease?
Freedom, fulfillment, journey or quest?
All of the above could fit me with ease.
Others will judge; they always know best.

I abandoned convention, not knowing why.
Was it some shadow setting me free?
There arose a command not to be shy,
to live instead with integrity.

What works in my life, others may scorn.
They'll decide standards, edicts, decree,
being stable and wise, normal, true-born.
If I live by their creed, then what of me?

15.12.02

I HATE RAIN

"Rain, rain go away,
please come back some other day.
Rain, rain go away,
I want to come out and play."
-- a Nursery Rhyme


The last few weeks has had a depressing, bone-drenching, emotion-numbing, spirit-crushing amount of rain. Dark skies, hardly any sun, and the worst thing is that most of the time, the sun will shine as bright as anything in the morning, only to have the weather totally turn to absolute shit by lunchtime.

False hope is the worst, after all.

Only good thing so far is that the weather on the weekends have been quite fair by comparison. For the last two weekends the sun was shining all the way from Saturday morning till Sunday night. This weekend though, although the sun still shines, but there's always dark clouds hanging over the horizon, and there's the occasional half-hearted light rain.

*sigh*

Dammit. I really need to start getting a decent amount of sun before I get totally depressed.

That's why -- for now at least -- I hate rain.

With a vengeance.

25.11.02

Life is funny

Work's been good so far. Haven't had much time to do anything else though. But the projects I've been working on recently is rather fun. Writing and designing games for mobile phones is something that really fits into my dreams.

When I first started off studying computing, I've wanted to become a game designer/programmer, but then I eventually dismissed it as just a young kid's fantasy. And now, I'm actually living my dream!

It's surprising how when you least expect it, when you give up on something, when you think: "Nah... that's never gonna happen.", life suddenly turns around and surprises you?

But of course, it works both ways, when you really want it, when you're absolutely optimistic about something, it never happens. Lady Luck just turns her shining face away from you. Life's funny that way, don't you think?

Anyhoo, although work's fine, i do have to deal with the occasional annoying, two-faced, fickle-minded, back-stabbing client. But other than that, it's pretty hunky dory, so I don't really have much to complain about. :)

Met a lot of really nice people from my talent school. They're all quite friendly, and we all hang out together quite a bit. So even if I won't be a big-time celebrity (in fact, not bloody likely :P), at least I would've made some really nice friends to hang out and have fun with.

Well... I guess that's about it for now. I'll try to update more often from now on. ("try" being the operative word of course).

Ciao!

13.11.02

The Silence

Found this at www.poems.org:

The Silence
Philip Schultz
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for RJ

You always called late and drunk,
your voice luxurious with pain,
I, tightly wrapped in dreaming,
listening as if to a ghost.

Tonight a friend called to say your body
was found in your apartment, where
it had lain for days. You'd lost your job,
stopped writing, saw nobody for weeks.
Your heart, he said. Drink had destroyed you.

We met in a college town, first teaching jobs,
poems flowing from a grief we enshrined
with myth and alcohol. I envied the way
women looked at you, a bear blunt with rage,
tearing through an ever-darkening wood.

Once we traded poems like photos of women
whose beauty tested God's faith. 'Read this one
about how friendship among the young can't last,
it will rip your heart out of your chest!'

Once you called to say J was leaving,
the pain stuck in your throat like a razor blade.
A woman was calling me back to bed
so I said I'd call back. But I never did.

The deep forlorn smell of moss and pine
behind your stone house, you strumming
and singing Lorca, Vallejo, De Andrade,
as if each syllable tasted of blood,
as if you had all the time in the world. . .

You knew your angels loved you
but you also knew they would leave
someone they could not save.

28.10.02

From the inside looking out

Well, well, this is the first time I'm writing from my office.

It's been a week now since I started, and I'm still getting used to sleeping and waking like a normal human being.

Life's been good so far, but I miss the days when I can just lie around at home doing absolutely nothing on a weekday. :P So before I was on the outside looking in, and now I'm on the inside looking out, missing all the things I used to be able to do.

But hell, I can't complain. At least I've got a full-time job now, right? :)

Anyhoo, I better get back to work.

See ya!

20.10.02

The Wheel of Fortune

"The wheel of fortune turns,
round and round it goes.
Where it stops,
no one knows"

The Dead Zone, Episode 1, "Wheel of Fortune"

No, you smeg. Not that Wheel of Fortune. Not the one with Vanna White. :P

With all the luck that I've been getting lately, I've been thinking more and more about how life always has its ups and downs , and how things can't just be good all the time. After all, the wheel of fortune always turns round and round, and sometimes you'll be on top, other times you'll be down below. And I'm just wondering when it's my turn to be down again.

Call me a pessimist if you will, but I prefer to think that I'm a realist. There is absolutely NO WAY that a person can be lucky all the time. At one point or another a lucky streak will end. Lady Luck will move away. The Cornucopia will move on. And Fortuna will smile on someone else.

I just hope the fall won't hurt too much... :|

19.10.02

Blog HOT or NOT?

Remember AmIHotOrNot?

Remember MonkeyHotOrNot?

Is my Blog HOT or NOT?

16.10.02

This could be you...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

I have finally gotten a job!!! Well, actually, not just one job, but two!

It all started on monday. My flatmate told me the day before that he's going for this talent audition thing for fun and for a chance to maybe earn some extra pocket money. He asked me if I wanted to come along and I said sure, why not? So on Monday, I went down to my old school (still kinda feels weird to say that), and talked to some staffers that I used to work with a lot. And, as usual, I complained about not being able to find a job yet. One of them said that normally, when the offers finally come, they'll all come at the same time. After that, I went for the audition at this talent management company. So I went in, did it, thought they hated me, went home, and thought no more of it.

Now, yesterday night, the talent agency called to say that I passed the screening and that I had to come down for a briefing the next day (that is, today). So I thought, cool, why not?

And today, at the briefing, I got a call from the company that I went to for an interview last Thursday (remember? if you don't, read the previous entry), and I had to tell her that I was going to have to call her back. And I thought to myself, "God, I think I just screwed myself real bad this time." After the briefing, I called up the company, and I GOT THE JOB!!!

So who knows? If you're still out there, unemployed and looking for a job... you'll never know.

This could be you. ;)

12.10.02

Bein' broke ain't no joke!

Well....
Just went for another job interview on Thursday. Hopefully this time I'll get a job. Being broke ain't no joke I tell ya! You can't do anything and just have fun without worrying about budgeting.

*sigh*

I dunno if you guys know about that Barenaked Ladies song: If I Had A Million Dollars. Well, I wish I had a million dollars. Imagine the things I can do with it!

Anyway, I gotta stop dreaming and get a real job. :P

Been picking up my dear old guitar again. Haven't touched her for a long, long time. She's been with me for... hmm... let's see.... about 7 or 8 years now? I should restring her one of these days, when I can afford it. Till then, I'm just gonna have to settle for the old strings. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I mean, she still sounds as lovely as ever, but they get out of tune faster and faster these days.

Speaking of which, I still haven't gotten around to naming my guitar yet. I know it's a she, but I don't know what to call her yet.

Anyhoo, I think I should go to bed soon...

Ciao! :D

6.10.02

Life Or Something Like It

"Things happen.
Things you never see coming.
Then you think afterward: If I'd known this, would I have changed things?
Would I have done more?
Or would I be thinking: 'I need more time?'"

-- Lanie Kerrigan (Angelina Jolie), Life Or Something Like It

Just finished watching the show Life or Something Like It. It's a really good show, and it got me thinking...

What would I do if I had just one week to live? Or even, like in Tuesdays With Morrie, which, incidentally, is a really good book, what would I do if I had only one day to live? What would be the perfect day?

If I had one week to live, I'd travel. Go to all the places that I've always wanted to go, take in the sights, try to remember every single detail, and burn it into my memory. Take long walks all around the cities and villages and mountains and beaches and forests and lakes, and just drink in everything.

And on my last day on earth, I would wake up early in the morning, go to the beach, and watch the sun rise. Then I'd take a walk to a nice little seaside cafe, and have breakfast there, watching the world wake up. I would then go to town, and sit down in a cafe, have lunch, sip on cappuccinos, and watch the world go by, looking at all the faces, guessing what each of them felt. And in the afternoon, I'd go for a stroll in a park near a lake, and watch the sun set behind the mountains across the lake while sitting on the top of a hillock that slopes gently down all the way to the lake. And then, in the evening, I would get in touch with all the people that I love, have them all come over for a nice dinner, and then after dinner I would sit down with each one, look each of them in the eye, etch their faces in my memory and tell them that I love them.

Now the question is: What would you do? :)

26.9.02

Voluntary Blog Plugs

As you obviously should know by now, I have some friends who are overseas on exchange programs right now.

Well, from two different parts of the world, they're writing about how their experiences there; initial jitters, the excitement of discovery, finding preconceptions to be true/false... and the list goes on.

Anyway, if you want to find out what it's like to be an exchange student in the US, go to: http://firestarter.deep-ice.com and to http://www.livejournal.com/~tinderbox

Or, if you want to find out what it's like to be an exchange student in the UK, go to: http://www.livejournal.com/~breadcrumbs

Enjoy! :)

(Still) Unemployed

Yep. It's final. I'm still officially unemployed.

I've been trying to reach the guy who interviewed me for the past few days, and I finally got hold of him today. And it's official, I was rejected, because I'm "not suitable for the job."

Oh well...

Time to hit the road again then I guess.

(Untitled)

Found this one on one of my friends' blogs.

Short, sweet and genuine. Really rare these days. :)

(Untitled)

As I sit here in front of my terminal,
thinking of our little conversations,
a little rude and caustic, smoothened out with a whole load of sweet!
How many little ups and downs our days are made,
Sometimes tempers flare, and irritation boils over.
But at the end of the day, a kiss (maybe a lot more than just a kiss!)
and all is well, and we lie in bed at night.
Sleeping in each other's arms, fitting snuggly,
with your head on my chest. I run my hands through your hair,
and I rub your back, reassuringly. Maybe with the intention of telling
you:
"everything's all right baby...everything's all right".
And before we drift, we whisper words, only meant for our hearts to hear.

16.9.02

Patience

Howdy, folks.

Just went for my first interview for management trainee at Starbucks today. Hopefully I'll get it. Only thing is, I'll know within the week if I get to go for the second interview, and then I'll need to wait again for them to let me know if I get the job.

Oh well...

Like my Chem teacher used to say...

Patience is a virtue,
have it if you can.
Find it in a woman,
never in a man.


*sigh*

*tap fingers*

*tap feet*

*walk around*

*tap feet*

*sigh*